Hurt
by alixxander
Summary: Hermione returned home from her sixth year at Hogwarts to find her perfect life with her parents in shambles. She turns to unspeakable means of release for the Gryffindor Golden Girl. She is helped through her hard times by an unlikely source.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Hey guys, this is a story I've been thinking about. I don't know if anyone is going to like it so I don't know if I'm going to continue it. I would like to hear what you guys think and if you guys want to see more chapters. :D **

Hermione lay curled up in her compartment reading Hogwarts: A History. The train ride back to Hogwarts was usually enjoyable for her. She would visit with her friends after a long summer of traveling with her parents but this year was different. She was returning to Hogwarts a different girl.

She sighed and thought back on the events of the summer. At first she had been thrilled to be home with her parents; to see them smiling towards her with pride and have them hug her, whispering in her ear how much the missed her but as she stepped off the train she knew things were different. Her parents didn't have the same light in their eyes. The car ride home had been quiet; her parents hadn't even turn on the radio. When they reached their home, her father had carried her trunk upstairs and had asked her to come and sit in the living room.

Those few minutes in the living room had changed her. Her mom had started crying the second she reached the bottom of the stairs and her dad had a grimace on his face like he had just caught his daughter in bed with a man. Nervous, Hermione poked and prodded her parents to tell her what was wrong. Through sniffles her mom had explained that while she was away at school, her and her father had decided to get a divorce. They were no longer happy together. They had already sold their dentist office and had used the money to buy Mr. Granger a flat on the other side of town.

What a shock. Her parents hadn't even hinted that anything was wrong in all of their letters through the school year. With a sniffled smile Hermione looked out the window at the passing scenery. She didn't even know where Ron or Harry were sitting. Once she boarded the train, twenty minutes early as usual, she had found an empty compartment and locked the door. She wanted to be alone. She wasn't ready to face anyone yet. She closed her book and put it in her trunk, pulling out a shiny metallic razor blade. This was her friend. It made her feel better just to hold the blade in her palm; just to stare at it. Other times, she would push her sleeve up and push the razor blade into her skin. Today was one of those days. Hermione pushed her white uniform sleeves up to her elbows. Looking at all of the scars she had left behind over the summer. They made her feel relief, helped her feel like everything would be alright. Slowly, Hermione placed the blade to her damaged skin and pushed the blade in. She wanted to see how far she could go; just pushing the shiny silver into her white forearm. She drew the blade down, quick and fast. With a pained smile she looked at her master piece. There was now a gash in her forearm like a canyon had opened up. It started to turn pink and then red as blood began to fall from the slice she had caused. One drop at first and then the blood became a stream. This was her release. This is what helped her feel safe. Hermione put the razor blade in her breast pocket for close keeping and shoved her sleeves down. No matter how much she wanted to cut the regret of doing so would always haunt her mind.

Hermione continued to cycle the memories from the summer through her mind. Calmer now, but still frantic thinking of everything that had happened. She watched as her dad left the house to go to his flat without a second glance. Her mom had given her a sympathetic glance as tears started to fall down her face. She had run out of the front door and down the street to the corner park. Crying on the swings for hours. That was where she met Aiden and Hailey. They had come strolling through the park laughing and playfully pushing each other. They had become her best friends that summer. She needed them now. While she was alone on her way back to Hogwarts.

Hermione stared back out the window. She had seen these hills and valleys enough to know they would be arriving shortly. Soon, she was going to have to face her friends that she had ignored all summer. Soon, she would have to face herself.

**AN: So, let me know what you guys thought. I just wanted to share my idea. Thanks for reading! Alixander. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter nor will I ever. **


	2. Chapter 2

**I know I said this was just a one shot sitting in my head that I was putting on paper but I thought you all deserved a little more and I'm bored. Please review?**

Making sure blood hadn't dripped down her arms, Hermione got off the Hogwarts Express. There it was, standing in all its glory. She had missed Hogwarts, or maybe she had missed the calm before her summer. Quickly, before she could be seen, she made her way to a carriage and jumped in the first one. She pushed herself into the corner and pulled her razor out of her pocket. Hiding it in her hand with a closed fist. Tight enough to feel the blade, loose enough not to harm a visible area. She had learned that trick quick after she had started cutting. If she was in public she couldn't pull out her sharp objects and rip her arm apart, no she had to hide it; she couldn't end up in a mental ward. With closed eyes and a sigh she slumped back and felt her body relaxing.

There was a cold breeze as the carriage door opened but Hermione didn't pay it any notice. Whoever it was could sit and not talk to her like she preferred. The carriage started forward and Hermione's thoughts went back to the summer…

Hermione had watched the two stroll through the park, comfortable with each other like she was with Harry or Ron. They must be really close she mused. They were cute. The boy standing tall, with longer black hair pushed into his face and she stood tall, with blonde hair curled long with blue eyes. Hermione stayed behind her tree and watched as the two sat on the swings and the boy pulled something out of his pocket. Squinting her eyes, she tried to find out what it was. They were still laughing and joking around and that picked her up a bit, made her think of her friendship with Ron. Maybe these two were more than friends. Heavens knew her and Ron had been flirting back and forth since third year. Would he ever make the first move? With a smirk she knew her answer, no, never. That was just fine with her. Even though she liked Ron, hell, she thought she loved him, she wasn't going to be the first to move. Blonde hairs sparkled as the girl then pulled something shiny from her bag that was stretched over her chest, pulling Hermione from her thoughts. Handing it to the boy, he brought it to his mouth and lit a cigarette. Oh, so that's what he had, cigarettes. Nasty habit for someone to have. The smell always made Hermione sick. She got up slowly, trying to sneak away, walking at a snails' speed behind the swing set. She didn't want to get sick but she didn't want them to notice her, they would know she had been spying.

Halfway across the playground now, she started to pick up the pace and stepped on a small patch of fallen twigs causing a loud snap. The two turned around and saw her with the deer in headlights look. Oh no, she thought, now I'm caught. Trying to wipe the dried tears and her red eyes Hermione smiled at the two and turned away, head home, Hermione, she thought.

"Hey, wait!" she heard the boy say.

"Hey, come over here," the other said.

Great, Hermione, she thought, now you are in for it. Walking slowly, tripping over roots and branches, she made it to the couple. Don't get sick; don't get sick, she chanted in her head.

"Hi," she mumbled.

"Hello, I'm Aiden," the boy said clearly, "and this is Hailey. Do you want to smoke with us?"

"No, thank you. Cigarettes make me sick, sorry," more mumbling came as she turned to leave.

"Good thing this isn't a cigarette then," the girl, Hailey, laughed. "Welcome to the world of blunts. Come sit with us. We're safe."

That was when it had started. Hermione had smoked the 'blunt,' become friends with Aiden and Hailey and started to move on with her life.

Lost in her thoughts, Hermione hadn't even noticed the carriage had stopped at the steps of Hogwarts until she heard him.

"See you around, filthy little mudblood."

She had ridden with Malfoy and had not even noticed. She could not space out like that again. But, where was the malice behind his hateful words?

**AN: So, I got a large amount of people that liked the first chapter enough for me to post a second. No one reviewed which made me sad… but I'm feeling kind. I hope you guys like the words that come out of my head. Leave me a review this time? Also, I don't own Harry Potter. **


	3. Chapter 3

**I don't own Harry Potter or anything he comes with. **

**A/N: Hey guys, I know this one is short but I've decided to continue with the story. I just recently got out of the hospital and had to drop out of college so I have super amounts of free time. That, plus you all seem to really like this story. I'm going to update regularly with longer chapters but I wanted to get this one out to let you know. Please remember to review because that's really what gets me writing. (someone reviewed today so you can thank them). I hope you like chapter three. **

Hermione stumbled into the Great Hall after her encounter with Malfoy. She couldn't shake the feeling of panic at having ridden with him all the way to the

castle. Why hadn't he said anything to her? And, and even better question; why had he ridden with her at all. She walked with a daze and plopped herself

down at the end of the Gryffindor table. She had no interest in the first year sorting this time around. She just wanted to go to her room and tend to her

wounds. She wanted to create new ones. It had been a scary day; the day she started cutting. She, Hailey, and Aiden were at the park, the usual Sunday,

when Aiden's sleeve had risen just a little. It was enough for Hermione to cry out in shock, there were red, deep, scary marks all down his wrists. Aiden

sheepishly explained to Hermione his guilty pleasure and pain release. She hadn't known what to think at first but she went home that night and gave it a

try. She had ripped apart her razor and took one of the blades out and scratched it across her wrist. It had given her such a high that she hadn't felt in so

long. She cut with the tiny blade over and over, riding the endorphins all night. She could really use that pain release right now. The endorphin high she was

so used to using. It got her through the day.

Coming out of her thoughts she saw the red fluff of Ron's hair coming her way; Harry striding right next to him.

"Hermione!" Ron belted, "I've missed you."

"We've missed you," Harry smiled.

"Hey guys," Hermione managed. "How was your break?" Not that you took the time to contact me at all during the summer months she mentally added.

"Awesome."

"Yeah, fantastic."

"Harry spent the entire summer at the Burrow. We played quiditch and ate and played more quiditch. It was the best summer ever!"

"Oh, that's great. I think I'm going to head to the dormitories."

She scurried out of the Great Hall so quick after that conversation. Stupid boys. She really needed to cut. She needed to feel better. The stress from the day

was beginning to get to her. Running up the stairs to the seventh floor, Hermione had a better idea. The Come and Go room. The Room of Requirement. She

could hide in there. She could use that room to harm herself. No one would ever find her. Changing directions she headed down the hallway to the wall she

needed. There was already a door there, though. Stepping inside she noticed it was a quaint little living room. Set up in silver and red. There was a fireplace

with a roaring fire and several love seats surrounding. The chandelier that hung in the center was magnificent and just barely fit the décor of the room. She

walked over to the middle couch and plopped down right in the center. Finally, she thought, somewhere to hide. She ripped off her cloak and pulled out her

blade. Holding it tight in her hand at first to feel the power, she took it to her wrist. The relief was instant. She cut once, twice, a dozen times, until blood

was dripping to the floor. This is what she had been waiting for.

"What the hell are you doing?" someone exclaimed.

Hermione quickly turned around, slapping her hand over her wrist to try and hide what she had done.

"What the hell are you doing." The man asked again.

Oh fuck, Hermione thought, it had to be him. Malfoy of all people.

"Malfoy," she started, "I was just leaving."

"Oh, no you don't. You're going to sit your arse down and tell me what the fuck you were just doing. Hell Granger, why you were doing it. What is wrong with

you? Are you trying to die?"

"It's none of your business, Malfoy, let me go."

"You want to go, fine, but we are not done with this conversation."

Hermione fled the room. She couldn't have Malfoy know. What was she going to do? He was going to tell the whole school. She couldn't have that. She

couldn't handle this new development, either. This was the second time Malfoy had been civil to her. Pushy, yes, but civil.


	4. Chapter 4

**I do not own the Harry Potter Franchise. As much as I wish I was even a tinsy bit part of it…. I don't. **

**A/N: Dang guys… I got a lot of feedback in a really short amount of time. I've been writing all day at work, yes I'm skipping out on my duties; to get you guys this update. I hope you like it. I'm still not a hundred percent I like this story so I'm just going to work with what you guys put out for me. ****Acciojean:**** Do you really want me to ruin the story like that for you? Haha and to ****AllWasWell07****: I know, I know but I'm going to start pumping them out. **

The next weeks went by without a hiccup. Hermione threw herself into her coursework, as usual. She pretended to be interested in Harry and Ron's conversations. And, of course, she took pleasure in her own ways. She reveled in her idea to tell Hailey and Aiden she was a witch so that she could owl them. They had thought she was joking at first but after a little demonstration they were quick to take to the idea. So she wrote them letters, they were her new lifeline. She told them all about her annoyance with Ron and Harry since she had returned and her addiction to the blade. They wrote back about the parties they were going to that she was well missed at and the activities they did, trying to keep her up to date while she was gone. She really missed them. They were the friends she'd always wanted. She was sitting in the library working on her newest letter to both of them when she was confronted.

"Granger, we need to talk."

"Shove off Malfoy, I'm busy."

"Granger, now."

"No, ferret. I'm busy."

"Hermione," he said softly. "Please, humor me."

That had thrown her off. What was she going to do? Malfoy wasn't going to leave her alone but she wasn't about to explain her behavior in the Room of Requirement either.

"Malfoy, please. Don't make me do this."

He grabbed her wrists and dragged her out of the library. Dragged her up the stairs to the seventh floor and paced in front of the magical wall. When he pulled her into the room, it was set up the same as before. She had been dreaming of this room. He gently set her down on the middle couch and had the room create a chair for him to pull up right in front of her.

"Hermione. Talk to me."

"Why would I talk to you, of all people," she yelled, her temper starting to take over. "You've done nothing but torture me my entire Hogwarts career! Why should I talk to you about anything? For all I know you're in the dungeons making fun of me with your two goons and your pug faced girlfriend."

"Are you done? Are you ready to talk?" He asked.

"I won't talk to you. I won't."

"Hermione, please. I know I haven't been the kindest to you but I need to talk about this. I need to know what you're going through so that I can share what I'm going through." At this she snapped her head up to look into his eyes. Stared straight into them and questioned what he had said.

"What?"

He yanked up his sleeve and showed her angry red scars that covered his entire forearm. "Hermione, I need to talk to you because I need to understand why I do this to myself. I need to know it's okay."

"Oh, Draco, why?"

"I don't know. It just feels right," he managed to squeeze out as his throat started to close up and tears started to well up in his eyes. "It makes all the pain inside of me disappear."

Hermione got up off the couch then and pulled Malfoy up with her. She pulled him into her and hugged him tight.

"It's okay, Draco. I mean, it's not okay but I understand. I know what you're going through. I don't know why I cut either but I understand what you mean about the pain. It takes it all away."

"Yeah, like everything hectic becomes calm again."

The sat back down, both of them on the couch this time, and thought in silence.

"Why," Hermione asked, eventually.

"I… I don't know. It started this summer. I was so sick of father telling me what to do, what to believe, who to talk to. I was sick of my father beating me within an inch of my life and then bringing me back to laugh at what he had done. It was too much. It's all too much. I accidently cut myself one morning on a broken mirror father had thrown me into the night before and I felt immediate relief. I started cutting myself a little, once a week at first, then moved to once a day. Now I feel like I can't go ten minutes without digging a blade into my skin."

"I'm so sorry. I didn't know any of that happened in your home," she said, genuinely sorry.

"No one knows. I'm sorry I forced you to come here; I needed someone to talk to, especially after seeing what you were doing the night of the welcoming feast. I felt like I could possibly have someone to talk to but I had no idea how to reach out to you."

"I've been so busy. I threw myself into classes and haven't given myself much time to think. I don't want to think about what I've been doing or why I do it. I just want to cut and live my life."

They sat together again in silence. The quiet calming both of them. What were they supposed to do now? Knowing each other's dirty secret gave them real insight into the mind of the other. After an hour of sitting in silence, Draco stood up and walked behind the couch. He asked the room for a bed and a beautiful four poster bed arrived in the room. Two sets of pajamas were sitting on the foot of the bed. Draco handed Hermione a pair and went to change into his own. When they had both changed and looked at the other across the bed they knew they had made an unspoken agreement to become best friends. They would share everything in the future. They were both broken and they both needed the other. Both climbing into bed, Draco put his arm around Hermione and they both fell into a calm sleep.

**So, I know my chapters are short but it's because I'm highly impatient. I'm updating more frequently though, that's a promise. Send me some reviews so that I can have some inspiration. :D**


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